- Food riot at the UN after workers strike, “They took everything, even the silverware,”
- “Any outlaw regime that has ties to terrorist groups or seeks to possess weapons of mass destruction is a grave danger to the civilized world and will be confronted.” – Bush talking to 3rd. graders about neighboring rival elementary school.
- Baghdad police summoned for duty, given $20 and told to “stand there and look important.”
- Phony National Security Agents having young women strip, for security reasons. Homeland Security Officials angered that they hadn’t thought of it first.
- The Pentagon plans to impose a permanent gag order on attorneys who defend alleged terrorists. Thereby sealing forever who they are accusing, placing on trail, as well as their punishment.
- Bush says banned weapons will be found in Iraq, dadgummitgolldurnitall!!!
- U.S. hires christian extremists to produce Arabic news. More beltway cronyism in the most pious form.
- You?re either with us or against us ? well, not if you’re Halliburton, once run by VP Dick Cheney.
- Stepping down as NRA president, Charlton Heston leaves a legacy of more guns for all, even our own domestic terrorists nutjobs.
- American soldiers will soon be marrying fewer Germans but more Romanians and Polish.
- According to an adviser to Tony Blair, it was a war for oil. The Whitehouse reacted by calling a Jihad on all Britons. In related news, France surrenders to the 101st.
- Attention all students graduating from college: to prepare for the job market, you should have majored in hamburger flipping, bed pan dumping or, even bullet dodging. It’s not too late to study for you new career!