VH1 ran a series called “The 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock” recently. In fact, it just ended a few minutes ago here. Now I can deal with the majority of the list. In fact, I’m sure Led Zeppelin deserves to be on top. If you were to make “The 100 Craziest Bastards of Rock-n-Roll” then, of course Ozzy would be on top. Or, if you were to run “The 100 Most Mysterious People in Rock-n-Roll” then, probably Jimmy Page may well be on top of that list. But of you look below at the list, there is one glaringly out of place band:
1. Led Zeppelin
2. Black Sabbath
3. Jimi Hendrix
4. AC/DC
5. Metallica
6. Nirvana
7. Van Halen
8. The Who
9. Guns N’ Roses
10. KISS
Um, Nirvana? Sweet weeping Jesus! Why on earth would they stick that band in there. Based upon what? The fact that they single handedly killed not only heavy metal and punk rock with one fell swoop? Based upon the fact that they were basically the turd in the punch bowl of hard rock-n-roll? Or was it because Kurt Cobain wore a fucking yellow evening gown to the “Head Bangers Ball” on MTV. Get it? Gown? Ball? Get it? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?
Don’t get me wrong, I like Nirvana. But, please keep them out of this genre of music, as well as the mainstream. They were hammered into the mainstream by MTV and marketroids. Not by the fans. They certainly don’t belong in this group. They have their own special genre of music that they can always be on top of. Forever.
Ignore the fact that Deep Purple is way down at #22 on the list. Despite the fact that “Smoke on the Water” helped launch more guitar careers than any sounds assembled, before and since. Deep Purple gets #22 and there isn’t even a statue of Ritchie Blackmore with a dedication to this accomplishment.
Marketing. It really gets worse later on in the list. Green Day? Neil Young and Crazy Horse? Marylin Manson? The Pixies? The Misfits? Hole? Foo Fighers? Meat Loaf?!? Who the hell was smoking crack at VH1 Quick, get a social worker, it’s time for an intervention. They need help.