An exclusive paxtonland presidential debate preview:
"I shore hates it when they’re always cussin’ on TV, I’m tellin’ ya that shit really pisses me off! I goddamn well want a clean moral society that don’t talk like we were raised by a bunch of dumb fucks. Jesus, whatta bunch of assholes!"
– George "dubbya" Bush
"As usual my opponent is being fiscally irresponsible. I propose we have a tax on the use of bad language and use the monies to pay for midnight basketball for the thousands of poor, disadvantaged, crack head, gang members, and their millions of illegitimate children. And whatever money is left over… we’ll think up something to spend it on but, we promise we won’t return it to the tax payers."
– Al "father of the internet" Gore.